Ryan is five years old today…
I couldn’t let his special day go by without writing about him. Ryan is a fascinating little fellow. I’m certain he would have a lot to say, if
only he could.
Birthdays are milestones and
at his age children have usually become interesting little people on their way
to starting kindergarten. When I look at
the list of developmental milestones the typical child has reached by his or
her 5th birthday, it reminds me how far Ryan has to go.
For example, yesterday was
Christmas. The typical five year-old can hardly sleep because Santa is coming.
They are on their best behavior because “HE knows if you’ve been bad or good”. Ryan can point to Santa in a book, but he
was fairly oblivious to most of the festivities. However, he did show a little interest in his
presents—he did open two of them, at least. The rest are under the tree, still wrapped. This was the first year he opened anything,
though so we were excited.
For the first time, Ryan interested in a present!! |
Cognitively, he is somewhat
behind, mostly because he is unable to write anything other than a scribble
when asked to draw a circle. He does
know his shapes and colors, most of his letters, and can count to 15. Although he learns slower and through an
almost ridiculous amount of repetition, he is learning.
But Social and Emotional,
and Language/Communication categories are where he is severely delayed—these
are the deficits that directly correlate to his autism. Socially and Emotionally, Ryan should want to
“please friends…be like friends” at this age.
Ryan doesn’t have friends, and shows little to no interest in other
children unless they are holding a toy he wants.
Language/Communication would
probably earn an even lower score. He is
severely apraxic, so speech is very difficult for him…forget about being able
to “use future tense” or “tell a simple story using full sentences”. Much of his therapy has focused on teaching
him the need to communicate.
Too often parents ignore the
signs of autism, thinking—hoping, their child is just a late bloomer. They assume their pediatrician would tell
them if something was amiss, not stopping to realize the doctor usually sees
the child for 10 or 15 minutes a few times a year, and under stressful
circumstances. Often someone outside the
immediate family who spends some time with the child will notice the child is
not developing typically, but is afraid to say anything for fear of offending
the parents.
Valuable time is lost while
parents are in denial—and time is of the essence in getting treatment. The younger therapy is started, the better
the outcome. If you suspect a child in
your life is delayed, or may have autism, please check out the milestones list
on the CDC website at: http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/index.html
. And to steal a line from the Department of Homeland Security’s terrorism
program, if you see something, say something.
While it was difficult to
initially accept Ryan’s autism, in my case, other people were in denial for me…perhaps
some still are. I often hear Ryan just
needs to play with other kids more often, and that he doesn’t “look autistic”,
as if he should look a certain way. Someone
even said, “Well, his eyes aren’t too far apart and I read where you can tell
if a kid is autistic by that”. I should have
saved that one for an “Insensitive Things People Say post”, I suppose.
But I digress…developmental
milestones aside, Ryan is a perfect kid, an amazing kid, a joy. He’s happy and sunny almost all the time,
despite all the challenges he faces. He
is loveable and gives the best hugs and kisses.
He is my angel.
A happy boy! |
Today I celebrate Ryan and
his accomplishments. Tonight we will sing "Happy Birthday" and will have GF/CF/SF egg-free--everything-free cupcakes...I’m so thankful he’s
a part of my life, autism and all.
Happy 5th Birthday, Ryan!!
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